earlies

Ok i havent posted for a few days but there is a very good reason for this.
Firstly i have now moved back into police accomodation and no longer have constant internet access.
Secondly bar the crazy team night out during rest days nothing much fun has happened.
In a quick summary, firstly the first early i was on a cell watch for someone in for supply of class a drugs and murder. Nice!!
Second early i was an immediate car but only really had three jobs to goto. The first was an arrest request and house search for CID which was amusing, the person we were after wasnt there, his parents were on holiday and his little sister had all her friends round and were in semi naked states when we arrived!! Next we took a supposed racial incident which ended up not being a crime (honest we didnt just fob him off so we could go and have breakfast) Then finally a domestic where i got an arrest for ABH nothing too brutal just your everyday run of the mill husband hitting wife.(i know it sounds cold but we do see it everyday and are somewhat hardened to it all)
The third early i didnt go in for as i had to go and be interviewed by professional standards, which was immense fun.
Then the final early which was due to be a training day was cancelled so i stayed in bed!!

Quick Swing

Ok i've left it a couple days and a big night out which conincidently ended up being two entire teams from our nick being in the same place (about 40 coppers!!).
For that reason my recollection of quick swing is a little hazy but here goes.
Got in early and was sent out to an immediate before briefing and about 20 mins before i was due to start. It was a damage only RTA so didnt take too long just gave a couple producers, ran checks on the cars and that was it.
We were told by our skipper to come back in to pick up some slow time jobs so we took the long way round and saw a car 4 up (4 occupants) that looked a little dodgy, so we pulled it over. Long and short of it, the driver got nicked for possesstion of an offensive weapon as he had a baseball bat and a knife.
Got back to the nick and found the prisoner handling team were too busy to deal, so he was dearrested and we did a contemp note interview(basically interviewing whilst writing it all down, instead of tape recording) then let him go on his way.
This took a little while and after we then took a couple slowtime jobs from our sgt, but we were diverted to an immediate shout of youths setting off fireworks towards electricity power lines. Searched the area couldnt find them so called up to say we were about to attend a slow time job when another immediate came in that nobody else could take. It was an IRTA (injury road traffic accident). Two cars had crashed both were writeoffs and one of the drivers was bleeding from her ear and going into shock. The ambulance took 20 minutes to get there but luckily there was an off duty paramedic who stopped to help out.
Well after gathering witness details and helping to clear the mess and direct traffic we went back for a quick meal break.
The next shout we had was to a dog handler who had nicked someone for burglary but it was getting a bit heated and he needed urgent assistance. We got there and took the guy to the ground and cuffed him before taking him back to custody. Firstly this guy was the worst smelling person i had ever come across and secondly, in his pocket i found a spray labelled STUD, which on closer inspection turned out to be an erection enhancement speay, needless to say we all had a good laugh at his expense.
Well following that we sat around in the briefing room for the next two hours as the overlap shift had taken the cars, so we had plenty of time to gossip and plan our night out, ......... errrm i mean do some paperwork!!

The calm before the storm???

Got in extra early at about 2000 hours to do some paperwork then went to the station canteen to watch the first half of the England match before briefing with a few lads from shift.
Well went to briefing then did more paperwork til about 0100 hours.
Went out on patrol after this and stopped nearly everything that moved without any success.
Attempted an arrest in the morning which was a negative result. Finally i helped one of the sgts plan an operation which is being executed during quick swing.
After such a quiet night i half expect the area to explode with activity later, especially as its quick swing!!

Same old.

After the excitement of the past few nights things were bound to quiten down a bit and tonight is when that happened.
I was crewed as one of the immediate cars for the night.
Well cracked on with paperwork for a while before heading out into the unknown!! We stopped quite a few cars and people milling about but didnt really find too much.
About 0100 hours we were sent to assist an ambulance crew in assessing some bloke who was supposedly loony.
Well we got there and three stunning paramedics got out of the ambulance, which is always nice!!!
Well this guy seemed normal enough and he voluntarily went to hospital to get the once over.
Well after that we sat up at various spots hoping to catch people speeding through the night but no such luck.
Our next commitment was to attend a burglary at Nationwide Building Society. They had smashed the lock of the door in and nicked a laptop, they were never going to get into the safes so that was ok!!
Well after taking a couple of statements we resumed and soon had a call from a colleague that he had a motorbike making off. We made to them as quickly as we could and saw there car parked in the middle of the road.
As we raced out of the car one of them had caught one of the riders but he said his crewmate was still chasing the other guy.
We got sounds of fighting and shouting over the radio but couldnt hear where from so were running blind really. We soon came across the motorbike on its side in the middle of the road and just continued sprinting straight up the road hoping to hear or see him.
As we neared the end of the road we began to hear shouting and sprinted towards it to find Mark wrestling with the guy. Mark was clearly relieved to see us arrive as he was breathless and we soon had him *under control!!!* after a little more struggle.
More units soon arrived and the prisoners were taken back to the nick. We sat with the bike which turned out to be stolen during a burglary, until recovery arrived.
Whilst waiting at about 0430 hours one of the well known faces came walking past and refused to stop when i asked him. I chased him a short distance and carried out the normal checks but unfortuntely he wasnt wanted. He was a right idiot and we nearly ended up fighting with him, but had to let him go in the end.
After that we were done for the night as we went back to the nick and had some food then floated around for a little while longer not turning anything up. At about 0530 hours a suspicious fire came in which ended up being arson with intent to endanger life, but we steered well clear of that and went home on time.

undercover

Ok take the two youngest officers on shift, let them work in plain clothes and a plain car and they'll have lots of fun!!!
I'm not going to go into too much detail as all these logs seem to be getting longed but we stop checked and searched a number of people who had been smoking cannabis, we pursued one car that jumped a red light after overtaking 5 cars stopped at the light, on the wrong side of the road, and took his license from him.
We also pursued a subaru that had been involved in an armed robbery and had made off from police at 150 mph earlier. We managed to get the helicopter up to follow it and i believe they were caught as a result.
We stop searched a few more people before going to a domestic where husband had broken into wifes house and was beating her up with a bar.
Had a nice little scrap with him before carting him off to custody.
That pretty much ended the shift, back for more tomorrow.

The attacks.

Ok Saturday afternoon into saturday night was again looking like it was going to be a very busy shift.
Well to make things all the better i was crewed as one of the immediate cars for the day.
Well the first 20 minutes wasnt too bad as we went to try and take a statement, which we couldnt take as the person wasnt in, we were then going to go to a slow time job when we were diverted to a police domestic violence alarm. We had about 3 cars make to it and had a 2 mile blue light run but when we arrived it turned out to be a false alarm.
Well we didnt even have the time to turn around before we were sent to another immediate, landlord tennant dispute that was gettin violent. We went in convoy to the address having a couple of very close shaves on the way in. Pulled up at the address and knocked on the door.....control sent us to the wrong address, so off we went again, luckily we were just around the corner and got there to find a landlord trying to kick his tennants out on the spot and had tried breaking his door down. We informed him that under tenancy law he needed to give them 30 days notice or apply to the court for an emergency eviction order and that he cant just turn up with his mates and kick them out or he'd be arrested for a breach of the peace.
Well with that resolved we still had no peace and were sent to a report of a Misper (missing person) who was a 13 year old kid with a mental age of about 5 years old.
When we arrived i wasnt too surprised the kid was missing as the front door was open with an 18 month old toddler playing by herself next to the door, whilst the father was upstairs sleeping and the mother was in the kitchen.
Well we started filling out the misper report and had been there for about 30 mins when the kid came back with several africans, who he regularly goes to church with. Apparantly they had come to take him to church and didnt think to tell his parents they were going.
Well with that aside we decided we were going to go and get some food. On our way to Mcdonalds when we were diverted to reports of a large fight outside a house with 15 asian youths with baseball bats, cricket bats and knives beating up the occupants of the house. We were only half a mile around the corner but the offenders had already gone by the time we got there. They had smashed up the front of a house, putting the windows in then when the occupants came out they were set upon and hit with the bats and slashed with the knives. They were extremely lucky to escape with very minor injuries.
We had a dog handler on route to try and track them but he crashed his van just as he was pulling onto the road as someone decided to ignore the blue lights and sirens and pull out in front of him despite it being his right of way.
Well while we were trying to get past the language barrier of the aggrieved partys (Polish) they suddenly pointed out a car and said "THATS HIM" i wrote the car index down and passed it on the radio and we quickly ran to our car and gave chase. With the help of 2 other units we managed to block the car in just onto the next road. The driver was arrested not only for the assault and criminal damage but also for being a disqual driver.
Well as we were taking him back to custody about 4 999 calls came in reporting a group of about 15 asian youths with baseball bats and knives had stormed a house not to far from the first attack and had dragged three people out and were beating them up.
All three were hospitalised one with a very nasty broken arm which was spurting out blood everywhere as well as cuts and stab wounds.
Two of the offenders were caught at least this time so adding that to our prisoner we had three in custody for the attack.
Well we had a lot of paperwork to prepare for our prisoner and whilst doing this another call came in from another location reporting the same thing, about 15 young asian lads had stormed a house and were armed and appeared to be smashing the place up.
Well police attended again but didnt catch anyone on scene. This time things had got a little worse though as they kidknapped one of the occupants. (as i went off duty CID were still investigating this one).
Well we soon finished our paperwork and were asked by our inspector to go out on bikes high vis in the areas that had been attacked.
We did this for a while before heading into the town centre to assist with pub/club kicking out times.
There were a couple minor scuffles but nothing to serious. There was one incident that made me chuckle.
After a 6 or 7 man scuffle one of the offenders who i had arrested pleaded his innocence and tried reasoning with me saying "I was the one being attacked, i dont want any more trouble. If you pay for me to get a taxi home i'll go , i dont want to be involved in this any more!!"
The thing was he was actually being serious.
Well onto nights tomorrow.....errm actually that'll be tonight!!!
thats gonna be fun with it being bank holiday weekend and all!! bring it on!!

COME ON!!!!

Well friday evening shift 1600-0300 in scorching temperature always promised to be a busy shift and it was.
Straight out of briefing amd we had to shoot off on immediate to an RTA turned fight.
Apparantly some old dear had been trying to reverse out of her drive, in a rear service road between two rows of houses and had stepped on the accelerator instead of the breaks and had crashed into a concrete fence snapping her door off then caried on into the neighbours fence destroying it. her two sons apparantly went to the neighbours to apologise but the neighbour lost the plot and started waving a knife around threatening them.
Now this is where things became unclear as the neighbour claims the two sons (one ex copper just retired after 30 years in service) beat him up hitting him with the broken fence posts. However the two sons say he fell over.
The two sons had no injuries and didnt really look like they had been fighting but the injuries the neighbour had were consistant with both having a nasty fall and getting hit with the fence posts, so the two sons had to be arrested. It wasnt a plesent scene with lots of arguing but it didnt really kick off so wasnt too bad!!
Well after those niceties we did our statements and were supposed to go for an urgent arrest but were diverted to an immediate domestic, husband beating up wife.
We got there and there was no answer at the front door. I tried the door and it opened. I walked in and shouted is anyone home its police. There was no answer and i started to fear the worst. I went into the living room and saw the husband asleep on the sofa apparantly very drunk.
Just then the wife returned home and had a huge black eye.
We took a quick account from her before waking the husband and i arrested him for ABH. He thought it was candid camera and refused to play ball so i had to force him to his feet and handcuff him. Whilst doing this he grabbed hold of my arm and pinched and scratched me. Ok your further arrested for assault on police. He then continually swore at me outside the house so he was further arrested under section 5 public order act.
On the way back he tried smashing the car window so i had a nice little scrap with him on the back seat and held him in a headlock as we made back on immediate.
Well following his pleasantries we had to forcibly search him in custody then return to see the wife and take a statement.
On the way back to the station after that it was starting to kick off on the high street.
We diverted down there and assisted a WPC with a volatile female who had apparantly been involved in an assault and tried to make off in her car.
Well she got nicked for ABH and drink driving and her boyfriend decided to be an arse and try and obstruct us. I wasnt particularly bothered and pushed him down the street and told him if he came back he would get nicked.
Just as we were about to transport the prisoner back reports came from the other end of the high street that males were making off on pushbikes. I ran down the high street to see them but they were on bikes and went through the shopping centre so i called it up and other units made to the other side.
Well we went back to the nick to take the prisoner in and to finish of the paperwork in relation to our domestic incident.
Half way through the paperwork i took a walk downstairs to the car park where i heard shouting from the back of the nick. I went to see what was going on and saw 2 groups of two lads arguing. One group shouted THEYVE GOT KNIVES then the other two lads legged it. I hit the emergency button on my radio to cut in from the conversation going on and chased them for a few hundred metres before finding them hiding in an alleyway between two houses. I drew my CS and told them both to lay on the floor or get sprayed. They complied and i soon had colleagues with me and handcuffed both of them. I searched them both and the dog unit searched the area but we couldnt find anything so we grudgingly let them go. This was not before a traffic unit who had a sky camera crew had shoved a camera in my face whilst i was ridiculously out of breath trying to tell the dog unit where to look.
Well back to the station to finish paperwork before heading out into town on foot to help out before all the clubs kicked out.
Well i stop checked a few people around town before settling outside two clubs and dealing with the usual drunken idiots getting kicked out who thought they were going to go and beat up the doormen.
This theme carried on throughout the night until thankfully at 0330 i managed to get back to the nick and go home!!
Lets hope saturday night isnt as hot or as busy!!!!

Lates

Well the likelihood of a busy shift was always on the cards for a late on thursday that was unbelievably hot. Before anyone even made it to briefing we were all sweating under our stab vests!!!
Well we had two jobs allocated to us during briefing. The first to do with a dangerous dog, we did not have to deal with and the second we slowly headed out to, which was a report of threats made to a family. Well we got there and there was nobody home, good start.
Next we made on immediate towards the town centre as a disqualified driver was making off from police. Unfortunetely the officer that saw him had been on foot and we couldnt find the car.
Next job was a report that someone had spotted an offender riding on a bike he had stolen from them and was following them through the town. It was a bit of a wild goose chase as they told us they were on the high street then hung up the phone and wouldnt answer so we had a quick float around the area and got out on foot through all the alleyways but could do little more.
No sooner had we got back to our van did we get another immediate to the other side of town due to reports of kids smashing up a construction site. Well after racing across town at breakneck speed, the smashing up had involved a few kids knocking cones over and their dad had got to them before we had done. I was quite certain that the action their dad was taking/about to take was going to be a lot more severe than the ticking off we were going to give them so we left them too it.
To keep a busy day going before finishing talking to the father we were diverted to help an ABO (area beat officer) who had just had reports of someone being threatened with a knife. We searched the area and found the guy. He obviously had mental health problems and was a drug user. We searched him but found no knife. All we did get was a handful of abuse!!
Well we had about 5 mins to have a little drive around and follow a fire engine to see what they were up to before getting a call to another immediate on.... you guessed it, right on the other side of town a good 7 miles off. Well long blue light runs are always fun but this was just plain ridiculous trying to negotiate rush hour traffic on blues. We got there after about 8 mins. It had been a report of someone chasing kids after they had smashed his car window. Well by the time we got there he had lost them and gone back home. We drove him around for a while to see if he could spot them but had no joy. CCTV were less than helpful, despite having cameras that could have monitored the whole incident they wernt listening to the radio so missed it all.
Well after a quick statement we were again rushed off to another immediate this time only a couple miles off, this time it was to a very well known domestic household where 5 of 6 kids had been taken into social services care the day before and the father had kicked off big style so we had three units making at breakneck speed to get there. We met at an RV point at the top of the road then all went down together. Turn out nothing had actually happened and the mother was just pissed off about the kids having been taken and wanted to talk about it. Well we didnt give her the usual bollocking as our inspector told us to take it all very softly softly as the 6th kid was going to be taken into care in the next few days and they were going to be evicted from the house, so he didnt want her upset before that.
Well i then had the task of writing up everything i heard and saw whilst there in a report to the inspector, while my crewmate grabbed some food.
As soon as i had finished we were off to a robbery/attempt theft/assault.
Details were sketchy but basically someone had seen a guy under his dads van with bolt cutters trying to nick the spare wheel. He went out and challenged them and the guy threatened to hit him with the bolt cutters before running to the car. The aggrieved stood infront of the car and said to the offender your not going anywhere. The offender was going somewhere and just drove sending the aggrieved flying.
Well we got to the house to find out more precise details and spoke to the aggrieveds father who stated his son was at the cinema and didnt want to be seen until tomorrow!! oh well.
Still no rest for the wicked, we were sent straight away to another job to try and prevent a breach of the peace over a civil dispute. Well by the time we got there all was calm and it was basically a dispute over a shoddy MOT job. Not a police matter we advised them and told them to speak to citizens advice bureau.
By now it was just past 2200 so we went back into the station to hand the car over to the next shift.
Usually at this point we'd all go out in the transit for the next few hours but we decided for a change so me and my crewmate took a couple of bikes and went out plain clothes to see what we could turn up.
We didnt get any real results but stop checked about 20 people and searched a few under misuse of drugs act and for offensive weapons.
Well by 0115 we were both absolutely knackered and decided to call it a day and took a slow cycle back to the nick where we nearly collapsed and waited for 0200 to roll around.
Our Sgt brought the transit back in with the rest of the shift and said we could go early at about 0145 so off we went.
I dont know how, but its likely to be even busier tomorrow!!!

Off duty king

I've got somewhat of a reputation for getting into situations while off duty and before i started posting on here have been involved in 3 off duty arrests. Well the following happened to me today.
After a big night out with quite a few lads from the team i stayed over at one of the lads single quarters, as there was a spare bedroom. Well about 1300 we got up feeling rough as hell and decided on a hangover cure so we got dressed and decided to take a walk down to Mcdonalds.
We literally just walked around the corner from his house when a old Maroon coloured renault 25 pulled up with two occupants in it and an Irish voice said, u lads fancy buying a laptop??
I turned to John(my mate and colleague from work) and said, u speak to them i'll call it in. Well i discreetly gave all the details to control, then helped John with the next ten minutes of stalling them whilst a marked unit made to us.
They had a brand new laptop, a digital camcorder and a digital camera which they were planning on throwing all in for £400.
After deliberation and more bullshiting to keep them there despite their best efforts to go "come on old bill will be here any minute!!" "get in the car i'll drive you to the cashpoint"
we managed to stall them until the marked unit got there.
They pulled their car across the road infront of the offenders vehicle and the driver off the vehicle shouted "shit police go" and started the engine and tried to drive off.
Without thinking i dived in through the drivers door and wrestled with the driver and managed to get the keys out of the ignition to halt their escape.
Well with that excitement aside they were both nicked for handling stolen goods.
On examination of the car we found out they had been running the "water bottle scam" which has been prominant in the area, which is basically where they show you a laptop and camcorder in a laptop case then once you go get the money they swap cases and give you a similar looking case which only contains water bottles!!
Ingenious, pity they tried to do it to two off duty coppers though!!!!
To top of their day i seized £600 from one of them under the proceeds of crime act.
Well had to go back to the nick and do statements but wasnt too fussed about that as we'll be getting 4 hours at double pay for what was essentially 2 hours work!!!
Think we'll have bragging rights for a little while!!!
Back in tomorrow!

surveillance

ok got in and was crewed as the tasking car for the day. In briefing i heard there was going to be a cell watch on and grimaced and prepared for the worst, but it didnt happen, for once they chose someone else!!
Well first up i went to try and make a couple of arrests, neither of which were at home.
I then looked up some intelligence about a car on cloned plates that had been sighted so me and my crewmate got changed into plain "rudeboy" clothes, took a plain car and positioned ourselves a couple hundred yards down the street and waited for the driver to turn up. Well a bit of excitement at first everytime someone walked towards the car, but that soon died out. We must have looked suspicious to say the least sitting up in the car hidden in a private driveway surrounded by trees next to the entrance to a park just watching, needless to say control had about 15 calls from worried neighbours and passers by thinking we were up to no good.
Well the hours dragged by and the same tunes played over and over on kiss 100 and we were soon extremely bored and passed the time singing and winding each other up.
Well after sitting up on the car from 0730-1730 we called it a day and decided it would have to wait for another day.
Well a few days off, drinking to do, a champions league final to watch then back onto lates on thursday!!!

The cell watch part 2

Well this can be short and sweet. I got in and did a cell watch, then went home.
Last early tomorrow!!!

More tired

Well for some reason i was more tired than usual when i came into work today. I was crewed with one of my good mates at least so that was good!!
Started off going to get our car fitted with a tracker, which there currently doing with all the police cars. After we had that done we went out to effect two different arrests but had no luck with either.
Well came back to the nick and was doing some paperwork whilst everyone else went to breakfast.
Soon after we went out again to back up another unit who were helping NHS and Social Services staff with a mental assessment.
The guy had warnings for being violent, carring weapons and escaping.
I didnt think he was too mad to be honest until he told the staff that god had told him to go and sit on the runway at Heathrow and watch the planes and gasses coming from them. He could also see planes that nobody else could.
Ok fair enough, up to the secure unit for you sonny, well the other unit were taking him up to the hospital (after a 3 hour wait for the staff to assess and section him) and we were following behind, when we were asked to redivert back to the nick on immediate and my crewmate who is MAST trained (basically trained to get riot gear on and use shields) was to get kitted up,
Well we knew it would be a good job if they were asking that. Back at the nick another 4 MAST officers were kitted up and we all went down to an address where after a domestic the husband had left the address stating his wife had some kind of samurai sword and was going to kill him.
When i saw the husband, i knew the job would be a crock of shit as he likes to fabricate stories to say the least.
Well anyway the shield bearing MAST officers went to go and bosch the door in when this girl comes out, about 5"2 tall wondering what all the fuss was about!! Ah well was fun while it lasted.
I did a house search and found the weapon in question, which happened to be a prettty nasty Kosh which unscrews into a long handled sword!!!
Well after seizing that i went back in again to do more paperwork.
Soon got called out to a job where an ex partner had broken into a property then had made off and was giving us the run around phoning from different phone boxes.
We spent ages combing the area but couldnt find him so we went to assist another unit with an arrest attempt.
I was tasked to climb into the back garden and make sure he didnt do a runner. I was not happy as the fence was about 8 foot tall but i managed to get over just as they found out that he didnt live in that address anymore!!
Well finally we went back into the nick and got a plain car then returned to the previous job with the ex partner to see if we could get him in, but still no joy.
Pretty boring day to be honest.
The drive home seemed to take forever and i think i started dropping off on numerous occasions!!
Oh well only 2 more earlies to go!!

Earlies!!!

Well following a big team night out where 14 of us turned up and got ridiculously drunk and somehow ended up watching Peter Andre at a local Chicago's and making absolute fools of ourselves, we were back at work.
I had to leave home at 0530 to get in for 0700!!! great!!
Well nothing really out of the ordinary, everyone looked glad to be back on shift at that hour in the morning!!
After briefing i spoke to one of the inspectors about going from shift onto the town centre unit, well fingers crossed anyway!
Next was breakfast, which doesnt just consist of eating but also gossip amongst shift!
Well after i had filled myself up i got on with paperwork for a while before going out to take a statement from a schoolgirl who had been punched in the face by a schoolboy. Well that took quite a while as she thought we wouldnt be able to tell between what actually happened and when she started lying to make things sound worse.
Well with that aside at about 1050 we went on immediate to reports of a drug deal going on. Our car decided it had had enough and started smoking and slowly started dying, but we still managed to get there as there was an officer single crewed already on scene. Well on arrival i searched one of the occupants and found a spliff and about an 1/8th of weed in a little bag. I was thinking about cautioning him but then i spotted a couple more bags on the grass beside where i had searched him. Well neither him or the driver of the car they were in would admit it was theirs so they both got nicked for possession with intent to supply a class c drug.
Decent nick i was well proud but things started going downhill from there.
As the car i came in was defected my colleague drove it slowly back to the nick on her own so we had to wait for another unit to collect the 2nd prisoner.
Well an hour later {1230} we were back in custody. Then the custody sgt broke the great news, both these lads need strip searching.
Well with the niceties of "drop your boxers and squat" aside i went to speak to my sgt about the job.
Actually no i thought, Mcdonalds will go down a lot better before speaking to him so took half an hour out for that.
Well our Sgt wanted house searches on both offenders addresses. Ok well after filling out the form for the authority and finding an inspector to sign it we grudgingly went of to start doing the searches.
Surprisingly they both came from fairly nice well off families who didnt make too much of a fuss about it all.
Well finally back to the nick at about 1700 and started our statements and the handover for the job.
Just about finished that and went to the officer we were handing it on to when we realised we hadnt got the CCTV. Well another trip out then and a quick stop check on a motorbike we saw pulling a wheelie in rush hour traffic. He turned out to be ok and we just gave him a producer.
Well finally got to the CCTV office and after being promised it would be ready were told we would have to wait half an hour for it. Well forget that we're going home.
1845 off duty!!!
Roll on tomorrow, when i can get out of bed for 0430 for the second time!!!

Quick Swing

Quick swing is the shift when we finish nights at 0700 im the morning if we're lucky, then come back in later the same day. Needless to say it always gets really busy or kicks off on quick swing. True to form.......
1700 start of briefing.
1703 2 units deployed to an RTA turned fight.
1704 update from caller, 6 people fighting another unit deployed.
1704 another update approx 15 people fighting - another 4 units deploy.
When we got on scene it was more handbags at dawn than fighting, but there was a crowd of about 60 odd and remarkably nobody saw what happened!!!
One of the drivers got nicked for failing to provide and was a pissed as a fart!!!!
Well resumed from there and wait back to the station to get on with some paperwork.
Stayed in for about 45 minutes then started making to a slow time job when we were asked to divert to an immediate assault.
We may as well not have put on our blues and twos as everyone on the road ignored us!!!
Well we got there and there was a hysterical 15 year old girl and a very angry father. Long and short of it was girl stuck up for her sister, Girl got grabbed and had her head banged on the wall, Offender is girls, sisters boyfriend. Common Assault we'll report him later. Her father however had other ideas. He was adamant this guy was the worst offender on earth who deals drugs to kids, beats people up etc etc and if we didnt do anything that he would kill him himself!!
Well i took down a few details for an intelligence report. Turned out later that the father was right and the guy had previous enough to send a whole town to prison!!
Well we hurried out of the door as another immediate came in and there were no other units to attend.
Well this time we had a decent blue light run across town to reports of kids damaging a vehicle and trying to move it. Well we got across town and the kids quickly moved away from the car, like we hadnt seen them or would be fooled if they were stood across the road from the car. Well we spoke to them and it turns out that the car belongs to one of their parents who dumped the car for scrap. Good enough for me, NEXT!!!
Abandoned 999 call. Only round the corner so we went there and spoke to a 14 year old lad who gave us some cock and bull story about some guy who had beaten him up months ago had just chased him home so he dialed 999. Well turns out after a bit of questioning that a mate of his had damaged this guys property before so when he saw the guy the kid legged it home!!! Well not really interested NEXT!!!
Arrest request on behalf of Aberdeen Police. Goto such and such an address and arrest owner and driver of a red rover car there for a road rage attack.
Well after knocking on the door quite hyped up about the whole thing, the doors opened by this old fella in his 80's. Well i werent nicking him!!! This guy can barely walk to his front door so he most certainly didnt carry out a road rage attack and he told us his cars been of the road for a few weeks anyway. Fair enough NEXT!!!!
Abandoned car blocking callers drive. Well we got down there the car was untaxed unlocked and had stolen motor vehicle (SMV) damage (basically if door locks and or ignition has been tampered with). We just finished searching the car and were about to go and do a registered owner (RO) check on the vehicle when i heard shouting from across the road. I saw an IC3 male walking through a bush carrying a 1.5 metre wooden pole, he then jumped out at a passer by and shouted at him. The IC3 then climbed over a fence into B&Q's car park and started walking around it at quite a pace. We drove in after him and he walked round the outskirts of the car park to his original point. Just before he reached we pulled up behind him and blew the horn. He ignored us. I jumped out of the car and asked him to stop. He ignored me again. He then jumped down over a fence and started walking off quickly. Well i drew my baton and jumped over after him and caught up with him in the middle of the road. I asked him what he was doing. "GET OFF ME YOU BLACK DEVIL" he replied. "BABYLON NO CRUCIFY THIS DREAD, GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, BEFORE FIRE FALL FROM THE SKY AND CONSUME YOU ALL"
Ok just slightly odd behaviour, Another unit on immediate please.
Well i grabbed hold of his arm and my colleague grabbed the stick as we tried to reason with him and get him to release the stick. He wouldnt and kept on ranting about not being a slave and calling me a traiter, black devil, demon etc etc.
Well after about a minute i was glad to hear sirens and see 3 police cars racing towards us. As soon as they arrived we gave him three chances to drop the stick. He refused so down he went head first into a bush. I grabbed hold of one arm and tried to support his head. He clung onto his stick for dear life and continued to warn us that fire was going to consume us if we dont let him go. Well we couldnt remove the pole from him so one of my colleagues tried a knee strike, he didnt comply, i applied a pressure point hold on his mandibular angle (pressure point on neck) no compliance, so i then started punching his arm to try and weaken his grip, still to no avail. Well with this i had enough so i grabbed hold of his thumb and pulled it so hard i thought i was going to break it, he still didnt loosen his grip so whilst holding his thumb i punched the rest of his hand into the ground until he let go. Soon after he was cuffed and searched, finding a big bag of heroin, a couple of joints, and a hammer amongst other things.
Well we waited for the transit to turn up and literally carried him into the cage then drove him back to custody. Once back at custody he carried on his torrade of insults and threats. I believe he shit himself in the cell cause of the unbareable smell but nobody really wanted to check to we just performed a cell exit (subject is laid flat in cell whilst arms and legs are held in various locks. Subject is then searched before everyone leaves cell one by one until last man is holding both subjects arms in locks before being pulled out by a colleague)
Well after finishing the paperwork relating to him which we decided would be best to be a Section 136 (sectioned under mental health act) it was time to go home!!!! thats all til thursday!!

Sgt again

Ok im getting worried now, crewed with SGTS three days in a row!!!!
well got to work about 2115 hours did my usual checks before briefing. Briefing was same old as usual.
Waited for my crewmate/duty sgt to finish up whatever he was doing so we could get out. That involved waiting til 0030 with nothing to do.
When we finally were ready we were going to go out in a plain car which he decides was too dirty to take out, so we spend a good half hour cleaning it.
Just as i think we're ready to go one of the drivers of shift has to go home early leaving one of the girls single crewed, so i changed with her and went out in plain clothes on a pushbike.
Started of calling for backup to administer a couple of breath tests as i saw a large group of people staggering back to their cars. Lickily for them the drivers both blew just under and the driver of the third car dissappeared so i couldnt test her. Funny that.
well next i gave someone a warning for rather loutish behavoir on his way home from the town centre before assisting in a search for an offender from a robbery, which we found!!
after this i just floated around for ages without seeing anyone at all.
Called for another unit to help stop check a car i saw pulling into an out of the way car park hoping to catch them smoking cannabis but no such luck, they appeared to be alright.
Next i saw 4 lads walking 3 nasty looking dogs at about 0300 hours. I thought it a little strange but was not going to go anywhere near them for fear of my leg being chewed off!! Again got another unit to assist but there were no offences and the lads claimed they were just *walking their dogs*
Well finally went to a job where someone claimed his housemate had tried to stab him in the neck. He did actually have a slight cut on his neck, so i got myself a decent arrest for ABH and after a section 32 search of the offenders room, found the weapon in question.
After completing the handover i joined in the conversation amongst the rest of the lads about embarresing stories from nights out, before driving home. Im too tired to do anything more but sleep now!!

The piss take

Ok i got into work at about 2115 and read a few emails looked at latest intelligence etc etc.
Briefing, i was crewed with a Sgt again!! Ok well not gonna too bad i suppose last night was ok. But no.
Out of briefing and i have to go and do not one but two cell watches(for those who dont know if someone could pose a threat to themselves or are ill/high/drunk then they have to be under constant supervision).
Well i had a cell to my right, the guy in there was alright, well behaved amd good manaered but soon went to sleep then the guy on m left was a complete shit who no matter how nice i was to him kept calling me a cunt, wanker prick etc etc.
Well i soon ignored him.
Sat outside there cells from 2200 listening to the radio as loads of good jobs came in - fight in progress, vehicles making off, foot pursuits.
I was so pissed off it was unbelievable.
Well eventually 0700 rolled around and i was happy i would finally get relieved and get to go home. But no.
My relief decided he needed to goto briefing make some phone calls and goto breakfast while i fucking sat there waiting.
Well 0800 hours he turned up. I really could have screamed my lungs out at him but i left quietly, fully aware that not only was i an hour late off, but i would now also have to fight rush hour traffic which increased my journey home by an hour.
Does it tell that im still pissed off and bitter???
I'd better have a good night tomorrow........grrrrrr

First *real* night!!

Ok got into work about 2130 hours and did the usual checks before briefing. In briefing i found out that my crewmate for the night was ill so i was crewed up with two of the Sgts. I was a little apprehensive but knew at least i wouldnt have any shit jobs and wouldnt pick up any paperwork.
Well started of the night with a call from a known drug dealer who feared for his life as "G'Man" was coming round to sort him out. Nobody had turned out to the job but then there was another call from a neighbour stating 3 people had broken into his house. Obviously everybody turned out to the job and i loaded up the transit with an enforcer, hoolibar headgear and shields before heading out with the Sgts. Someone on scene said the offenders had made off but it was apparant that 4 samurai swords had been taken from the address. Well to cut a long story short we didnt find the offenders as the dog unit lost the track but we are well aware of who G'Man is, so he can be brought in at a later date.
Next we took a float through a usually quiet area due to reports from a DC of 2 people cycling very slowly and scouting out houses. No trace!!
Well we carried on patroling and before long had a call to a domestic with an aggrieved and offender very well known to us and as i believe mentioned before, the offender has assaulted to of the WPC's on our shift.
We had a good turn out, about 10 officers but he had made off and the aggrieved then informed us that there were no actual offences and he had just locked her out of the house so she had gone to her friends. (coincidently the friend she had gone to stay with is another old friend of mine who i hadnt seen for about 5 years!!!)
We managed to speak to him on the phone and he came back very smug and arrogant when he realised he wasnt going to get nicked. I really wished he did enough for us to have a reason to nick him but it will have to be another day.
Not too long after this we had a call to a burglary in progress. Again we had about 10 officers turn out to this job and the offender was still on scene when we arrived and was just climbing out of the ground floor window. Well he was nicked and i was given the nice task of climbing through the window and checking nobody else was in the property. In i went, maglite not working and the bloody power in the house wouldnt work so i couldnt see a thing. I drew my baton an slowly inched my way around the house shouting, "police is anybody in" hoping to scare them more than i was scared myself. Well thankfully it was a small house which i was just abour sure was empty when this fucking black dog came from nowhere barking its head of at me. Well you would have never seen anyone run and fly through an open window almost headfirst as quickly as i did. I didnt see the funny side as everyone else stood there laughing. Well anyway the dog wasnt that big and was probably more scareed than i was, but i had to go back in and get the dog out and put him in the cage in the back of the transit. Well that was that i thought but no, i had to secure the property so i went back in through the window and locked it from inside and tried to do my houdini act. Well the front door was locked as was the back but luckily i did manage to find the keys and went out the back. There was a little alley between that house and the neighbours which i planned to get out through. Padlocked great. Well we got the neighbout up much to his annoyance to come and open the gate for me. He was so annoyed i thought he was going to kick off which wouldnt have been fun as i was trapped on my own with him. Well after giving him a section 5 public order warning, *IN HIS OWN HOUSE!!!!" we were soon on our way.
Well soon after we had an alarm going off just down the road from where there had been an attempted break the night before, found by our plain car. Again we had about 10 officers turn out and initially it seemed all in order. We couldnt find any sign of an attempted break and nobody was answering the bell we were constantly ringing. We were just about to leave when somebody peeped through an upstairs window and hid. Well that was enough for us, out came the enforcer in went the door. We all teared up the stairs screaming police. This poor woman in there went histerical and through herself against her bedroom door screaming. We soon calmed her down and told her it was police. Turns out there were about 10 lodgings in there and one occupant had forgotten his keys and had climbed onto the shop roof from behind the building set of the alarm then climbed through the kitchen window and gone to sleep. Oh well!!!
The final bit of action was at about 0600 hours when cctv said they had a call from a security guard on his way to work saying someone was strangling a woman outside a pub just outside our area. Well nothing else was going on so pretty much the whole shift turned out and couldnt find anything. I asked cctv to call the guard back to find out what was going on. It transpired the guard had said he had a call from someone saying they were "straddling an 18 year old woman in a pink bikini and pink underwear" ok thanks for the waste of time.
Well we all went back to the station and messed around winding each other up for the last hour(water fights, giving each other prank calls, playfighting etc etc. One officer poured water down the back of one of the girls trousers then went and hid behind the Sgt!!!)
How mature our shift is!!!! The public in our area should be greatly reassured!
Oh well its the long drive home then sleep!!!

Whoops!!!

Ok my first week into our new shift system.
I was getting ready for my night shift today, had a little rest then at about 1600 went to meet a mate in town for a quick pint and game of pool before he started work in his bar/restaurant at 1700.
Had a good old natter then i went down to have a look around his bar then went home to have a sleep before work.
The phone rings, its a mate from work asking why im no in. I thought he was winding me up but no, we dont start nights til tomorrow and were due in at 1600. SHIT!!!!!
Well had a hurried wash got dressed and went into work rather sheepishly expecting a good bollocking from my Sgt but thankfully he was in a good mood and laughed it off.
Well cruised around for about an hour trying to find something to do but there was nothing much going on.
An immediate came in, domestic, so we backed up another unit for that, had a nice blue light run and got there despite controls best efforts to send us to assist CID for a job they were doing. Got there and was the usual petty dispute. She was crying/cooking/looking after her 5 kids in her council house, he was drunk and they had an argument and he had scratched her. Well positive action and all in he came for ABH and later transpired for drink driving also after i had finally got a statement out of her. Took bloody ages what with the kids asking me SFQ's (stupid fucking questions) and her up and down like a fucking yoyo and being more than vague as to what had happened. Well finished the paperwork for that then handed our car onto the next shift and our shift split into two and went out in two of the transits. The other half went to execute a warrant, while we just went out harrassing the shits that were out and about. We stopped a couple of cars with people well known to us and turned out to the bus station to swarm (quite literally there were 9 of us and 5 of them) a group of somalians who were smoking weed. Luckily for them they managed to hide of finish whatever they had before we searched them.
Well we continued to drive aimlessly til 0100 when we went of duty.
At this point i took the 30 mile journey home and went straight into town to have a couple of pints then walking to a mates house to watch a couple dvds. I figured if i stay up all night then sleep all day i'll be fresh for my night shift!!!!

Well thats all for today lets see how the nights go!!

back to normal, nearly

Ok came into work 2 hours before my shift today and started at 1400 as i was due in court tomorrow on the otherside of london.
I planned to head out on a pushbike when i got in but as it was raining pretty heavily i though better of it and got on with some paperwork til my shift came in.
One of my sgts was in early and wanted a chat with me about an incident im under investigation for and just gave me the general heads up that i had the backing of the team and if i needed any support etc etc.
Well was the first time seeing all the lads back on shift so had a bit of a laugh before briefing. Nothing special really in briefing, i was crewed to be foot/cycle patrol. I quite like getting out on the bikes so i was happy enough. I went out pretty much straight after briefing and before i got too far was called back to have a meeting with my Sgts and Inspector.
Well all that grief was soon out the way then i was given a job at the front office to deal with. Short and sweet, some blokes neice was getting threatened by her ex, already been crimed by another officer, he just wanted a chat.
Soon after i had to cycle across town to a *attempt burlary* where the evening before two men knocked on a OAP's door and asked if she had a spare room, she said no and slammed the door. Well i turned up she refused to let me in and could tell me no more than the above, fair enough!!!
With that job done i went for a little ride through the town centre, had to deal with one of our usual beggars, who protested his innocence and as i didnt really feel the need to arest him i gave him words of advice.
Well finally to round the day up i found one of the regular drunks, of his face on a park bench. The only reply to my questions i got was "HARRRRR". I called for another unit and carried him to the car where he slumped across the back seat. Got back to custody and he sat outside while we waited for other prisoners to be booked in. Whilst waiting i started writing my arrest statement only to notice him piss himself. Nice!!! I still hadnt searched him yet, so after being dragged through to his cell i had to put on the rubber gloves and search through his piss soaked clothes . Not really a day to remember.
Anyway at least court was cancelled for tomorrow. Back in on nights instead!!!!

what a month

Well as im sure you will have noticed i havent updated for ages. Well heres the long and short of it.
I've had to move out of my police accomodation as they refused to extend my contract and would rather have the house sitting empty with nobody paying rent for it, and have moved back to my parents while i wait for my mortgage to go through.
I spent three weeks on stage 6(residential training at the force training centre which basically entails sitting in class being bored out of your mind, passing the hours of 9-5 by discreetly taking the piss out of the trainers and trying to have as much of a laugh as you can get away with. Then in the evenings playing football or golf in the force playing field, going to the gym or getting pissed in the bar.
Inbetween that i've had some more serious issues which seeing as are ongoing in an investigation i will not disclose on here. All i will say is that it has left me utterly pissed off with parts of the job.
I'm back on shift on monday so i'll be reposting from then.

The three earlies

Ok havent updated for a while so im chucking three shifts into one.
First early was largely boring. I started with paperwork for a couple hours. I was supposed to be on foot/bike patrol but it was raining and snowing so that wasnt going to happen.
After a little while i went out in the transit with three other officers to go and get some prisoners in for a harrassment job i'm dealing with. Nothing exciting no fights or anything like that, they were just miserable that we had got them up at 0800 in the morning. They did both live in really smelly houses, the first one i actually had to leave and go outside for a while it was that bad!!
Ok booked those prisoners in did a handover then i went out on bike patrol for a little while. I went to an immediate injury RTA and got there before the patrol car did even though i only had about 500m headstart and we were going about 2 miles. After getting there knackered but proud, i found out it was a hoax!! Great.
Well i pretty much just went back in and that was that.
The next early was much more interesting.
0700
I was the main immediate response car with my soon to be new housemate. Firstly we went out and got in a rolling arrest from the previous shift, he was a right little shit 14 year old who had smashed up his mums garage called her a slag and told her the house was going to get it now because she reported him.
We wound him up a little bit while booking him in and he was remanded to stay in from sat mornin to appear at court on monday.
Next was breakfast at Mcdonalds!!!
After this we went to a domestic neighbour called up that she could hear banging about and screaming. Another unit came along with us. We nearly had an accident on the way as someone decided to pull out infront of us when it was our right of way. We got there and managed to get in and i was utterly shocked to see the aggrieved to be an old family friend of mine who i also dated for 2 years. Needless to say i was slightly hostile towards the offender. Anyway long and short of it he had shoved her over her bed and picked up the bed and dropped it on her before pulling down the wardrobe and dressing table over her. Well i let the other unit arrest him as i might have done something i shouldnt have!!! As he was being a bit uncompliant i did assist in dragging him out to the car.
Well with him booked in it was heading towards the end of our shift when we were asked to stay on as the next shift were very short due to a certain royal wedding.
I agreed to help out and stayed on. Went to a couple of other jobs, but nothing worth mentioning. We then decided to have another mcdonalds as it was getting late.
Half way through our meal, control get on the radio and ask for any unit to head to ASDA due to reports of three detained shoplifters getting violent. Nobody replies so they ask us to cut short our meal break and attend. I was not at all happy as i dropped my burger and most of my chips but oh well. We got to ASDA and saw a big crowd of staff running up the car park. GAME ON!!!
I jumped out the car and legged it after them through bushes and trees beside the car park while my colleague drove the car up. I got there and found a fairly large ic3 male and female struggling with the security. Out came mr baton and a loud shout of something along the lines of "get against that fucking wall now" surprisingly they decided to comply!!! One of the managers said another ic3 female had jumped the wall and made off. My crew mate drove round to go and find her whilst i kept the other lovely two detained. They were starting to get a bit aggitated but my luck was in and the dog handler turned up very shortly afterwards. Needless to say they became very compliant.
Anyway the long and the short of it is they had stolen a car and a couple credit cards and were out to try their luck. They had already succeeded in spending nearly £2000 on various computers and cds and dvds champagne etc etc.
Well eventually got them back to the nick and had just finished booking them in when the offender from the domestic earlier had returned to the house and was trying to kick the door in. Even though we had plenty to do i had to get back there so we rushed back and i found him stood in her doorway looking at me half smug and half annoyed. I walked up to him grabbed him by his collar and removed(flung) him from the doorway onto the floor and asked my crewmate to watch him. After speaking to the agg's for a little while i was happy to arrest him for using violence to secure entry. The offender claims he's putting in a complaint about me being over emotional and using to much force against him. Go ahead see how far it gets you.
Well anyway all that aside he got booked in and we were left with handovers to complete for 4 prisoners(thats three arrests each between us for the day). We had lots of statements to take and property to exhibit. The long and short of it was we went off duty at 2345 hours after a 0700 start!!!
The final early i got in at 1000 hours due to the previous nights long shift. I got on with some paperwork for quite a while before assisting(unsuccessfully) with an area search for a decamp. Back to more paperwork before going to deal with a complaint against a colleague of mine at the front counter. Well this went on for an hour and i was truely bored off my mind. Whilst dealing with this bloke i was fully aware that i had a mcdonalds waiting for me in the canteen and it was getting colder by the second!!!
Well after finishing that up i had a quick meal break then i had to deal with another job that came in on the front counter, where the aggd had paid someone to clear some rubbish from a worksite, but as soon as the money had been handed over they offender legged it. Big deal, if your that stupid to let things like that happen to you then you deserve it!!!
Well finally about to go home then we get sent to pick up a shoplifter. Fair play to the bloke he admitted it straight away and didnt play up at all which made our lives easier. Took him back quick statement and handover and only off half an hour late.
Now im off for three days before another set of earlies then onto stage 6!!!! WOOHOO 3 weeks of bumming around during the day and getting drunk in the evening and getting paid for it!!!

The next night and quick swing

Ok came in had nothing new in briefing, i was crewed as the tasking car for the night. Was given a section 18(1) house search to complete for the MET, but surprise surprise there was a fuck up. They sent through a signed authorisation for an 18(5). I called up the PC that asked for it to be done, then had to explain the difference between the two to her. Poor girl was off duty and promised to get it sorted for us, but we heard nothing more!!
Well anyway a couple of handovers came in as we were sat about waiting for a car. I was sweating that i was gonna end up being stitched with dealing with them but luckily my sgt was too busy to hand them out.
Kept on waiting it got to midnight(after a ten a clock start) and we finally had a car to go out in. About the same time a call came in about a disturbance on the high street. Turned up and about 6 drunk african lads were having an argument about something or other. I still dont know exactly what it was about but no offences had been committed so we told them to go there seperate ways. As usual there was one who couldnt listen so i brought him to his senses by applying a wrist lock and marching him down the street.
Pretty soon after that we had a shout that a unit had someone making off after crashing his van into a lamp post and was pissed off his head(obviously not in those exact words). Nothing was happening so pretty much the whole shift turned out. The dog unit got there first and the dog had no problem in finding the man hiding in the bushes and giving him a quick bite. Despite the presence of about 20 police officers the guy still thinks hes gonna try and kick off so the dog handler let his dog have a bit of slack to jump up and bark at him. Even in his drunken state he soon got the message.
After resuming from that, we drove and we drove and we drove and nothing happened. At one point we thought a car was making off from us, but they were just driving home and taking advantage of the fact that nobody was on the road. They just finished work and wanted to get to bed, hey i can understand that i am human too, quick warning and let him get to bed.
Well the night never picked up and we didnt have a single job to respond to, neither could we find anything to deal with. The most excitement we had was after gettin food from tesco, my crewmate found mouldy patches in his, after some debate we went back and he got something else!!!! (oooh fun)
0700 off duty
0710 asleep
1610 Is that my alarm, nah cant be i've only just gone to sleep. Better check......Oh for fuck sake is that the time. I'd better get up...............
1615 Shit i really had better get up. Quick shower and luckily i preironed loadsa uniform at the start of the week for an occasion such as this!!!
1630 On duty
I was crewed as the main immediate car for the shift. I felt shit and really just wanted to go back to bed. My crewmate felt the same.
We were given an arrest request by the priosoner handling team, for someone named as an accomplice to a theft where the cashier scanned through 50 items and voided 45 of them but still let the customer take all the items.
We started heading out to that when a call for assistance came in by an officer in the town centre office who said someone had just lost the plot.
We screamed through the busy town centre down the high street and legged it through the shopping centre and found it was one of our regulars, god knows what had happened to him but he wasnt happy. Anyway another unit beat us there so after a quick grapple and take down and cuffing, we left them to it. We then got a call to assist a unit at PC WORLD where three travellers had tried to return a laptop, but had swapped it with an old one that no longer worked and were now kicking off. I nice blue light run, despite the best efforts of the drivers in town to get in our way. We got there and all was calm the other unit had it all in hand so we stayed for a few minutes and resumed. We went to attempt our arrest but were told the girl we were after was still at work so we went to the High Street as my colleague needed to see his financial advisor. On the way i saw someone who was wanted. I told my colleague to carry on and i'd deal with him. I asked CCTV to monitor where he had got to as he was out of my sight but they decided not to answer the radio or pick up the phone, so i did a quick search around but couldnt find him. Oh well he'll come back another time.
Just as i got back to the car my crewmate was getting back and we had an immediate come in callers son is drunk and is trying to break in....
Game on right on the otherside of town, so we had another long blue light run with another unit in convoy topped off as we turn into the road the offender is on, as my colleague decided to take the corner at 65 mph, (no problem with that) then some dickhead steps into the road. On come the breaks whilst going round the corner. The car span out 270 degrees the stupid MOP shits himself and nearly has a heart attack as we narrowly miss him and career towards the kerb. I was sure the car was gonna flip as we hit the kerb but somehow we didnt hit it as the car seemed to spin on a six pence. We looked at each other hearts pounding and nervously laughed it off. The 2 in the other unit were pissing themselves laughing as we reversed back and continued on our way.
We get there and find one of the town drunks sat on his mothers doorstep. He wasnt quite incapable but was well on his way. His mother wasnt too far off either. Great. Well he got a section 5 warning but no other offences so we were contemplating taking him home. We had the joy off having him in our car. I sat in the back with him, all the way "fucking police messing up my day, i was just going round for dinner. Why you disturbing me, you bunch of wankers" I didnt really want to waste a cell with him so i was putting up with it till he leant forward to my colleague and said "im gonna fuck you up the arse like a white bitch" Right racially aggrevated section 4 your coming in son.
His reponse was not really what i expected. He started crying and begging to be released. While in custody he lightened up somewhat and had us all in stitches. When asked if he had any injuries he replied yes my head then full on headbutted the front of the custody desk, then fell back and headbutted the wall behind him and fell down, saying he needed some cannabis. He also claimed the custody sgt was his bitch.
After booking him in we went back to get the girl in who had been at work. When we got there i had no doubt she had no involvement but she had been named so we had to bring her in. Her family were less than happy about it and im pretty sure we'll have a complaint coming our way soon.
Well this left us to tie up the paperwork relating to our prisoners which took us to the end of our shift. About to go home when we were asked to back up a unit who was going to attempt an arrest of someone who had warnings for violence and previous for GBH. 3 units attended his bedsit, to hear strange noises coming from inside. We knocked on the door and were asked to wait a second as he was getting dressed. Well when we went in the guy we were after couldnt walk without his crutch was lying in his underwear, his boyfriend was pulling up his trousers....
one of them said they had HIV the other was dying of skin cancer. what a pair!!!!!
well we resumed they were never gonna be a problem other than giving us an earful.
2230 Finally the end of a shortened week.

first night back

Ok, got into work about half an hour late due to my litten being ill. Got the usual smarmy comments from the lads...."just woken up have we"
well sat about for the first hour trying to get a car, even though i was immediate response. We were given a few jobs to goto nothin special and being a sunday night expected it to be fairly slow and quiet.
We took a wonder about and put a seven day order on a vehicle dumped on the side of the road and was insecure and untaxed(wow fun!!)
Further down the same road we came across an alarm sounding at a house. We couldnt gain access to the rear of the property and banging on the front door only seemed to rouse a large dog who scared the shit out of me!!! After speaking to a neighbour he said i could gain access to the back garden via his garden, so carefully round i went expecting the dog to jump out the window and maul me at any minute. The property turned out to be secure and i was just about to go back when i saw a figure appear at the window and shout "who the fuck are you, what are you doing in my garden" i replied its the police, and shone my torch on my uniform. "i dont believe you wheres your badge" oh come on, i told him to open the door. Turns out he was very drunk and had been sleeping through the alarm. He said his family had moved out and his brother had come and turned on the alarm while he was sleeping and broken the fuse box. This guy then asks us to try and fix it for him!!! After a couple mins we knew we werent getting anywhere so we were about to leave, then hes like "You need to get a ladder and climb up and silence the alarm box" yeh good one mate, how about you fuck off and sort it yourself. So we left.
We then took an immediate job where a woman was getting beaten up by her partners brother. We turn up to the usual shit, a nigerian family dispute, basically there were no offences but the woman wanted the guy out of the house and wanted us to do it!! As he was fairly drunk we thought we'd try, to make sure it didnt kick off again. He was having none of it and was refusing to leave, until the threat of arrest then he gathered his things and came to the car. We tried all his friends and local hostals but had no joy trying to find him anywhere to stay, so back to his house we went and gave him strong words of advice to go to sleep. Two minutes after we drop him off and his brother lets him in, she's called 999 and said he's back.... yes we know. Then half an hour later she calls again and says he's kicking off. We turn up and he's fast asleep and nothing had happened. With this i totally lost my rag and gave her *words of advice!!!*
No sooner than we got free we turned out to an immediate fight on the high street. We turn up to find no fight, just handbags at dawn. Soon calmed it all down then got a call to the other end of the high street for some serious crime.
Firstly reported as theft of crutches then criminal damage of crutches. There was no way i was bringing someone in for that so with the threat of arrest i got the offender to pay for the damage caused, everyones happy and away we go.
We decided to go to a shitty area in and try and get some stop checks done. We pulled over one shity Micra that was 4 up with what looked like shits. They turned out to be ok and just as we are talking to them we hear wheels screeching then an engine racing then wheels screeching again then a blue mercedes SLK came tearing round the corner sideways at about 50 mph and nearly knocked my crewmate over. We ran back to the car and spun it round to give chase but all we saw were brake lights in the distance, i mean a 1.7 astra diesel again a mercedes SLK with a headstart!!! no chance. I learnt one thing anyway, as i tried to cut in on the radio by pressing my emergency button, nothing happened. Comforting thought!!!
Well we searched around for a little while but couldnt turn anything up so we resumed.
About half an hour and a few doughnuts later we see a car speeding off in the distance. We whack on the blues and give chase through an estate and were catching up, the car was still to far ahead to get any details. The offending vehicle then jumped a red light and took a right into the trading estate and promptly disappeared. Seeing as we didnt even know what type of vehicle of colour or anything, the search was never gonna turn anything up.
Well the rest of the night was pretty boring, we tried to attempt an arrest of someone wanted but had no joy as they somehow knew we were coming.
Nothing really happened and 0600 rolled on and i was expecting to go back to the nick and wait to finish then "Any unit for an immediate burglary in progress!!" game on we were on the otherside of town so we had a good blue light run of about 5 miles and were getting near when we were asked to divert to a domestic boyfriend (very well known for fighting police and injured two of our shift previously) of girl downstairs has broken the window and is shouting and trying to get in. Oh yes, i thought i nice scrap to end the night in. Well we get there and he's very aggitated but on speaking to his girlfriend, someone else broke the window and ran off, he tried to stop them. What a load of bollocks. Oh well if she's covering up for him not much we can do. I would have loved to wipe that smug look of his face but never mind another time will come.
Onto the second night tomorrow.

back to usual

Another normal day at work, i was on foot in the town centre so just dealt with a couple of shoplifters, who proclaimed their innocence despite them having been nicked twice already this week and being known by every police officer in the area. I then continues wondering the town centre rather aimlessly watching the chavs mull about and enjoy themselves. Went into another force area to make an arrest and thats about it!!!
Hey it cant all be fun!
Onto nights tomorrow!!

1st day back

Well what a day to return!!!
I went in two hours early so i could catch up on a few things!!
95 emails waiting for me plus a docket full of unwanted paperwork.
Started work at two, briefing was same as normal felt like i hadnt been away at all. I had to have a quick crash course on investigative management as everyone else had been trained whilst i was away. My Sgt did his best to show me whats what but didnt really have a clue and ended up asking another Sgt who also got stuck and........ im sure u get the picture.
I was one of three immediate units for the day. After about half an hour we had a call to an immediate........ sorry cant respond as we dont have a car yet, the 7 slow time enquiry units hae taken all the cars, dont worry about us!!
Anyway finally get a car and get sent to a job where a taxi driver has driven someone across town waited outside for him then driven him back home only to be told "fuck off your not getting any money from me" Easy nick i thought, but no. After waiting 5 minutes while we tried to travel 4 miles through heavy traffic the taxi driver decides he's not waiting anymore and hangs up the phone and dissapears. Oh well no paperwork at least!!
Next we went to some mad guy who had a domestic with his ex mrs a few days back and wanted to withdraw his complaint, we turned up and found him flustered, drunk and in a state of partial undress with his granddaughter (17). The guy was disgusting and looked worse than your normal layabout. We couldnt get any sense out of him, so we soon left.
We were then called to a shoe store where a member of staff had been violently assualted by another member of staff who had just been fired.
Turns out this violent assault consisted of the aggrieved a 15 year old lad who seemed a little slow and an easy target being approached by the offender a 16 year old girl, who pulled his coat and blamed him for being sacked. Not really the bruised violent scenes i was expecting. Meanwhile lots of more interesting things are happening on the radio and i'm wanting to get out of there ASAP, "sorry no crime has been commited, if you have any more problems be sure to call us"
Well after that excitement!! we were called on immediate to a domestic where the caller was being beaten up.
At last something fun!! We had about 3 miles on blues and twos in busy traffic which is always fun. We turned up to find a 17 year old Somalian boy who was adamant he had been beaten up. When i asked what injuries he had he pulled up his trousers and showed me a scratched(not even bleeding or torn skin) foot which he had done himself whilst slamming his front door after telling his step dad to get lost.
After filling in form Cuff1(basically getting rid of the job with as little work put into it as possible) we went back to the nick to finish up the paperwork.
Just as we finished up and were about to write it off "urgent assistance we need units here now"
So we all leg it down to the cars, officers flying left right and centre. We pull out of the nick not really knowing where we are heading as the radio is congested with sounds of officers in trouble. Well someone who had jumped in the back knew where we were goin so we started parting through the hectic midday traffic, 5 cars on blues in a row. A bit of awsome driving by my crewmate saw us scaring the living daylights out of the general public, driving down the wrong side of several roads pulling into one road sideways and nearly crashing into the panda already on scene. It was a good turnout by our shift, within a couple of minutes we had 9 pandas and 2 transits on scene, which got all the neighbours out to see what was going on.
Turns out there were three little shits (11, 9 and 14) that were gettin nicked for harassing an elderly neighbour. Anyway their family objected to them being arrested and their older brother, this 17 year old shit tried to stop officers gettin to them. When he was pushed aside he punched the first officer in the face, whilst wearing the usual "shit" attire of a big medallion ring. An obvious fight ensued and family and neighbours were coming out of everywhere screaming and shouting and trying to get involved.
After about an hour we finally got things under control several neighbours were taking photographs and more of the local shits old and young were gawping and gossiping. We started takin several prisoners back to the nick. I had the pleasure of escorting the 15 year old girl. What a mouthy little cow, she didnt stop effing and blinding all the way, in the end i shouted at her to shut up which made her jump but only wound her up more, oh well!! We had to wait nearly 3 hours to get booked in at custody, in this time we left our prisoner with another unit and went and nicked another guy for recall to prison!!!
Well once we finally booked em all in we had takeaway waiting for us in the briefing room which went down a treat!!
Then finally to top of a good day we got stitched with doing the paperwork for the victim of an attempt robbery as the dog unit who had brought him in had more pressing things to do like sitting in the briefing room talkin to the Sgt about his holiday!!!
Well, got off only 20 mins late and went to the local for a couple of drinks before gettin home and slouching infront of the telly. Back for more 2moro, hopefully wont be as much of an essay!!

Starting afresh

Well this is my start to recording my true feelings and thoughts as a police officer in a friendly place near heathrow, thats not in the MET.
I'm just coming off two weeks annual leave of travelling the country staying with student friends, drinking and acting in a manner that would appaul me if i was on duty!!! (does that make sense??)
i made the wise move of booking off the two earlies at the start of our work week and start on a 1400-2200 tomorrow!!
Here goes nothing..........