The next night and quick swing

Ok came in had nothing new in briefing, i was crewed as the tasking car for the night. Was given a section 18(1) house search to complete for the MET, but surprise surprise there was a fuck up. They sent through a signed authorisation for an 18(5). I called up the PC that asked for it to be done, then had to explain the difference between the two to her. Poor girl was off duty and promised to get it sorted for us, but we heard nothing more!!
Well anyway a couple of handovers came in as we were sat about waiting for a car. I was sweating that i was gonna end up being stitched with dealing with them but luckily my sgt was too busy to hand them out.
Kept on waiting it got to midnight(after a ten a clock start) and we finally had a car to go out in. About the same time a call came in about a disturbance on the high street. Turned up and about 6 drunk african lads were having an argument about something or other. I still dont know exactly what it was about but no offences had been committed so we told them to go there seperate ways. As usual there was one who couldnt listen so i brought him to his senses by applying a wrist lock and marching him down the street.
Pretty soon after that we had a shout that a unit had someone making off after crashing his van into a lamp post and was pissed off his head(obviously not in those exact words). Nothing was happening so pretty much the whole shift turned out. The dog unit got there first and the dog had no problem in finding the man hiding in the bushes and giving him a quick bite. Despite the presence of about 20 police officers the guy still thinks hes gonna try and kick off so the dog handler let his dog have a bit of slack to jump up and bark at him. Even in his drunken state he soon got the message.
After resuming from that, we drove and we drove and we drove and nothing happened. At one point we thought a car was making off from us, but they were just driving home and taking advantage of the fact that nobody was on the road. They just finished work and wanted to get to bed, hey i can understand that i am human too, quick warning and let him get to bed.
Well the night never picked up and we didnt have a single job to respond to, neither could we find anything to deal with. The most excitement we had was after gettin food from tesco, my crewmate found mouldy patches in his, after some debate we went back and he got something else!!!! (oooh fun)
0700 off duty
0710 asleep
1610 Is that my alarm, nah cant be i've only just gone to sleep. Better check......Oh for fuck sake is that the time. I'd better get up...............
1615 Shit i really had better get up. Quick shower and luckily i preironed loadsa uniform at the start of the week for an occasion such as this!!!
1630 On duty
I was crewed as the main immediate car for the shift. I felt shit and really just wanted to go back to bed. My crewmate felt the same.
We were given an arrest request by the priosoner handling team, for someone named as an accomplice to a theft where the cashier scanned through 50 items and voided 45 of them but still let the customer take all the items.
We started heading out to that when a call for assistance came in by an officer in the town centre office who said someone had just lost the plot.
We screamed through the busy town centre down the high street and legged it through the shopping centre and found it was one of our regulars, god knows what had happened to him but he wasnt happy. Anyway another unit beat us there so after a quick grapple and take down and cuffing, we left them to it. We then got a call to assist a unit at PC WORLD where three travellers had tried to return a laptop, but had swapped it with an old one that no longer worked and were now kicking off. I nice blue light run, despite the best efforts of the drivers in town to get in our way. We got there and all was calm the other unit had it all in hand so we stayed for a few minutes and resumed. We went to attempt our arrest but were told the girl we were after was still at work so we went to the High Street as my colleague needed to see his financial advisor. On the way i saw someone who was wanted. I told my colleague to carry on and i'd deal with him. I asked CCTV to monitor where he had got to as he was out of my sight but they decided not to answer the radio or pick up the phone, so i did a quick search around but couldnt find him. Oh well he'll come back another time.
Just as i got back to the car my crewmate was getting back and we had an immediate come in callers son is drunk and is trying to break in....
Game on right on the otherside of town, so we had another long blue light run with another unit in convoy topped off as we turn into the road the offender is on, as my colleague decided to take the corner at 65 mph, (no problem with that) then some dickhead steps into the road. On come the breaks whilst going round the corner. The car span out 270 degrees the stupid MOP shits himself and nearly has a heart attack as we narrowly miss him and career towards the kerb. I was sure the car was gonna flip as we hit the kerb but somehow we didnt hit it as the car seemed to spin on a six pence. We looked at each other hearts pounding and nervously laughed it off. The 2 in the other unit were pissing themselves laughing as we reversed back and continued on our way.
We get there and find one of the town drunks sat on his mothers doorstep. He wasnt quite incapable but was well on his way. His mother wasnt too far off either. Great. Well he got a section 5 warning but no other offences so we were contemplating taking him home. We had the joy off having him in our car. I sat in the back with him, all the way "fucking police messing up my day, i was just going round for dinner. Why you disturbing me, you bunch of wankers" I didnt really want to waste a cell with him so i was putting up with it till he leant forward to my colleague and said "im gonna fuck you up the arse like a white bitch" Right racially aggrevated section 4 your coming in son.
His reponse was not really what i expected. He started crying and begging to be released. While in custody he lightened up somewhat and had us all in stitches. When asked if he had any injuries he replied yes my head then full on headbutted the front of the custody desk, then fell back and headbutted the wall behind him and fell down, saying he needed some cannabis. He also claimed the custody sgt was his bitch.
After booking him in we went back to get the girl in who had been at work. When we got there i had no doubt she had no involvement but she had been named so we had to bring her in. Her family were less than happy about it and im pretty sure we'll have a complaint coming our way soon.
Well this left us to tie up the paperwork relating to our prisoners which took us to the end of our shift. About to go home when we were asked to back up a unit who was going to attempt an arrest of someone who had warnings for violence and previous for GBH. 3 units attended his bedsit, to hear strange noises coming from inside. We knocked on the door and were asked to wait a second as he was getting dressed. Well when we went in the guy we were after couldnt walk without his crutch was lying in his underwear, his boyfriend was pulling up his trousers....
one of them said they had HIV the other was dying of skin cancer. what a pair!!!!!
well we resumed they were never gonna be a problem other than giving us an earful.
2230 Finally the end of a shortened week.